Yet Tearyne Is Ambitious…

I'm a boss chick. That means YOU have to pay for me to get my hurr done, nails done, everything did...!

There is a topic that has come up a few times now on a Facebook page that I read from, and I want to take a moment out to address it here, once and for all: the notion that if a man wants a “dime piece” hot chick, he has to pay for her upkeep, even if they aren’t married. I have two questions: why should he, and what relationship-seeking woman in her right mind would agree to this arrangement?

To be blunt, it’s the notion of paying for pussy. If you want a hot and sexy girl, then you have to pay for her $700 weaves, her nails, her eyebrows, her Louis Vuitton purses, everything that it takes for that woman to be sexy and “boss”. While I tend to think that in this context the term boss really translates to “shallow and expect a man to do everything for me”, we’ll go away from that to address our two main points.

Why Should a Man Have to Pay for the Upkeep and Maintenance for a Vehicle that He’s Only Leasing?

I’m using this allegory because I think it definitely applies. Women, until a man has put a ring on it (your down payment), he is leasing with the option to own. He does not have a vested interest in you – hell, he doesn’t even really have the security of clarified terms in a lease agreement with you if you’re just dating or “talking”. He is simply test driving! Now think of a woman’s body and her being as a car that she has on her car lot. She might let a stranger have a test drive – the first date. You’re seeing if you like what she has to offer (she’s also, if she’s being bright, checking to see if you’re pre-qualified to make her an offer for any other offer down the road).

So you guys get done with the test drive, and you decide that you’re not ready to buy the vehicle, but you’d like to lease it for awhile. Why should you make a lifetime commitment for something when you’ve only driven it once? If you go ahead and do this agreement, with it being an open-ended lease (you can return it at any time, and the leasee has the discretion to end the lease at any time), are you going to put in thousands of dollars of custom work to improve the car?

No. Obviously not. What if you put a custom paint job on the car, installing a brand new Sirius Satellite Radio, subwoofers, everything… And someone makes an offer to the dealer to buy the car? The dealer has every right in the world to terminate your lease, and like a fool, you’ve paid for someone else’s newly tricked out car. To be honest, it’s your fault, but you shouldn’t be admonished for feeling like you have a stake of ownership in that vehicle due to all the work you’ve put in it.

This huge metaphor applies to dating. It is foolish to tank all your money into someone you barely know – or even someone you’ve known for awhile, for that matter – if the two of you don’t have a definite, solid agreement between you that you are in it for the long haul. You’re not just boo and daddy; you’re going to be an item for a good long while.

Go ahead. Rent that top model Bentley, but don’t go customizing it, because it’s here today and gone tomorrow. The catch metaphor is that in relationships, unlike car dealerships, the actual “vehicle” – the woman – has a basic, social understanding that she’s going to pay for her own exterior and interior maintenance. She’s supposed to be doing her own washing, waxing, and detailing. Since she’s the one that owns the vehicle, and you have NO concrete joint ownership agreement, it’s more like she’s letting you borrow her car every other weekend, with an agreement that if you pay for the gas that you’re consuming during your “use” (I am starting to hate this metaphor more and more, but it’s relevant to the objectification), she will keep it clean on the outside and inside.

So it’s more like a rental car agreement, I guess. You rent the car from the rental car place, with the expectation that whatever you’ve agreed to in the package will be included. You return it like you found it, paying for whatever time and resources you’ve consumed, and the rental car place agrees to provide you with a suitable vehicle for what they expect from you in payment for that time. You are not paying for the car itself, nor do you have ownership rights, so  it’s not on you to maintain the vehicle.

Ladies, this next part is for you: what relationship-seeking woman in her right mind would agree to this arrangement?